Twenty Below!

Check it out! The weather pixie says it's -20 in Minnesota! Yikes!! I don't think I could handle negative temperatures. I would never leave my house in winter if I had to live there. Could you imagine what this would be like? I would have to go to Sam's in September and buy all I would need for months. I would probably weigh a ton because I would get bored and bake cakes and cookies. It would be hard to put on my running shoes with all the pairs of socks I'd be wearing so the treadmill would be out and any amount of sweat could cause a chill and that's BAD when its 20 below zero! So, exercising would be out. I would have to homeschool my kids because I could not get up and shovel the snow off the driveway in the -20 degree temperature and take them to school. Much less, actually maneuvering the car on the icy snowy roads. Trapped in the house with nowhere to go and 3 kiddos might cause me to lose my mind but hey we would be warm! I'd gain tons of worthless trivia knowledge watching too much mindless TV and playing on the computer too long. So, I'd be dumber if I lived in Minnesota in the winter.

At night, I would hibernate in my cocoon of quilts and blankets carefully wrapped around my head and body so not to allow one single draft of cold air to seep in. I would look like a big mummy lying in the bed. I would love it there in my perfectly warm cocoon but would be a little light headed from breathing in my own recycled air. I would only reluctantly get up from my cocoon to go potty. Then I'd have 16 layers of flannel and wool to peel off while doing the "tee tee" dance because I waited til the absolute last minute to go. Then while pottying, I would get a chill and have to run back to the cocoon after pressing Kleenexes up my nose because cold = drippy runny noses in our family.

Only after the begging and pleading of my poor children for me to come make breakfast and a serious self pep talk, would I take the polar plunge off the bed, into the day. I would be a tad jittery from the cold and the pot of coffee I would have to drink to warm up each morning. Come spring, I'd be pale and fat and stir crazy but WARM!! Can you imagine the heating bill?

You think I'm kidding about the 16 layers, you should see me at home on a cold day. My mom-in-law laughed at my several sock layers I had on just the other day. "Warmth knows no ugliness!!" - a little saying we came up with after standing in the freezing rain at the Cotton Bowl in college. We did not care what kind of mis-matched fashion statements we were making. We just wanted to be warm!

I'm a Texas girl! No can do 20 below!!!